SloWord


This blog belongs to an Indian-born and raised Canadian of some 50 odd summers and 16 winters (see Canada).

He’s never taken a creative writing course and all the English he knows he learned in Indian “convent schools”. This is the cause of many disadvantages:

1. Grammar – built upon the fear of public humiliation in the form of a tongue lashing or worse and regimented exercises on clause analyses and precis. Modern readers apparently eschew grammar in favor of immediacy and effect, making the blog owner a dinosaur.

2.  “English” – His profound distaste for the North American habit of converting nouns into verbs as in “impacting” instead of “affecting”. His use of phrases and words that convey nothing to Americans (he was stunned when his use of the word “vagaries” at work provoked a heated discussion on whether such a word existed). American readers are thus, presumably, disenfranchised (whatever that means).

3. Spelling – An Indian who lives in Canada and worked for many years in the USA, hmmm, what could possibly go wrong as far as spellings go? “Tire” or “tyre”, “z” instead of ‘s” in words such as “evangelise”, the addition of the superfluous (and natural “u”) when it comes to words such as “flavor”? Modern texters and Twits, who apparently, do not understand the difference between their alphabets and their numbers are going to struggle to read him. 2bad 4 dem!

4. His love for long sentences (see clause analyses above). This leaves most readers mystified as to meaning and bored from reading so many characters (see Twits).

Combine this with an acid tongue kept in check (barely) by the love and constant guidance of a good woman and you have a potential writer with no readership. At least, no one under the age of 60 will have the ability to wade through all this.

He started out writing a book and realized he did not know enough about building characters. So as a lesson, he built three characters, who act as contributors to this blog.

The Slo-Man sees irony in spades everywhere and he writes essays on the strange, the ghastly, the weird, the stupid and the simply annoying bits of real life news. He is the most unreadable, making all the cardinal mistakes of modern authorship. You can read more about The Slo-Man here.

The Last Word (read about The LastWord here) is a dreamer, much given to nostalgic reminiscences. He sometimes attempts humor as in the Case of the Oily Chaperone.

The Peeved Punjabi is most likely to use modern authoring techniques, invective and humor to make a point. There is more about the Peeved Punjabi here.

And then, of course, is the newest member of the tribe, so far, LeggieLefty. LeggieLefty came on in 2013 to deal with matters and madness of cricket. Find out more about the LeggieLefty here.

All are learning basic skills of word craft (“wordsmithing” for all you North American readers) and blogging. While readership continues to grow slowly, the authors are ever aware of the need to be skillful, true to themselves and yet produce blog posts that (hopefully) entertain and enlighten.

  • About The Authors – an overall look
  • The SloMan –  The Oldest Member, the One Who Started It All.
  • TheLastWord – Filled with Cream of Nostalgia, garnished with Portry.
  • PeevedPunjabi – When a rant is needed, out pops the PeevedPunjabi
  • LeggieLefty – dedicated to cricket, now runs his own blog, still has a page here.

25 thoughts on “SloWord”

  1. Vagaries?? Really??? They had never heard of it?!
    Converting verbs into nouns… that reminds me of an impassioned argument I had in a car with a British friend, who vehemently objects to using the word “axe” as a verb. I quite like it as a verb, and we nearly fell out over it. That’s why we get on 😉

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  2. Greetings! I’ve been reading your blog for a while but somehow never read this terrific “About” before–love it! I too attended a convent school for a few years. I delight in Indian English terms like “tongue-lashing”–one of our family favorites! I too abhor those ghastly verbs made out of nouns–like “medalling” at the Olympics, and “impacted”, which always makes me think of teeth. I learned something new, too: didn’t realize that The Slo-Man, The Last Word, and Peeved Punjabi were all characters; I thought that three of you were collaborating on one blog, each of you contributing at different times! I admire your experimentation with different voices, tones, styles. And finally, I love your masthead photo of the gulmohar trees. I have written about gulmohars (and other things) in a story called “Hollyhocks and Hornworms” (http://josna.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/147-hollyhocks-and-hornworms/).

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    1. Ahhh! It feels good! Is “tongue-lashing” really not known? And how cool is it that it is a family favorite.

      The Gulmohur pic actually is not from India at all but from a recent trip to a Caribbean island, recently proved to be a swimmable distance from Florida! An island which is a 4-letter word in US Political circles.

      And yes, all three of us are one for all, and all for one…

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  3. Hello,
    I am a new follower. I would just like to say how clever this blog is and how much I love Indian literature, food and culture. All three seem so natural to me though my ancestry is Irish, Irish, and Irish. I look forward to reading all the back posts as well as the new ones!

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    1. Thank you, MindfulMagpie! We aim to please and are always delighted when we receive new readers.

      There are some recipes on here, though if your were to ask us what this blog is about, we’ could not tell you. Best way to is to scan through the posts and make your own judgements.

      Happy reading – we hope to speak with you soon and often.

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  4. I’m so glad you found my blog, because that let me to your About Page – and it’s wonderful. Humorous, self-effacing, thoughtful, and right! (Now I’m going to be nervous about which words and grammar I use!!). I know it will be fun to hang out with you every once in awhile.

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    1. Thank you! I may go tsk tsk when I read grammatical errors but I will refrain from letting you know!!

      I look forward to seeing your partipation in the conversations I like to have here. I hope you find some time to scope around and read some stories, wince at the Pomes and nod in agreement while reading the Slo-Man’s essays.

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  5. I’ve been reading your blog off and on but read this page in detail today. Highly entertaining. Can relate to a lot here. It’s especially funny because it’s written in The Slo-Man’s voice. Or is it?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am neither Indian, Canadian or American I am Australian and this means there is a u in flavour and such and I am not one to use abbreviations when I text but then I am old school or just old, like I am 51 so that is old isn’t it.

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    1. Yes, flavour is spelled with a u, if spelled correctly. And our age may be found quite easily by reading the blog. Hint: it is 51+….

      Thanks for dropping by and the follow. We hope you visit us often and enjoy each visit.

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  7. While some of those links above point to a void page, I can identify with whatever I read, except that I’ve never been to Canada. As for the English, even though I’m firmly rooted in a land that is supposed to follow the Queen’s English, I am facing an ongoing battle with just the eccentricities and solecisms mentioned above. I look forward to visiting your blog oftener.

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    1. Now we know you’ve really read the Home page. The broken links were a test, apparently, to see if anyone was reading carefully.

      You’ve passed ! 🙂

      Thanks for letting us know about the broken links. We are ashamed that it went past our QA people. We resolve to be more diligent and thorough in the future.

      Please do come back and read our stuff soon.

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  8. must say I agree with you – once in a lifetime is good going – “ain’t it”- uff – I am sorry to say can’t get my head or tongue around American or Emrican as they would say in “sada dilli”- have serious problems pronouncing ” dude” – much to the dismay of my kids who have now banned me from going near American and yes I do think American is a different language !!!! 🙂 😀

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  9. What a lovely about page. I need to steal some ideas from here and update my own. Did I say steal? I meant I need to be inspired.

    I love your take on the English language and I don’t think the proper use of “Convent English” makes one a dinosaur. It just makes us quaint and proper and a bit stuffy. The life of any party, I say!

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  10. Well, talk about linguistic gymnastics! How delightful. I’ve worked through a few posts and feel like I need a nap now. Terribly fun, my friend. Fellow Canadian! Go Canada!

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    1. Thank you, kind sir! My intention wasn’t to do linguistic gymnastics, it is, unfortunately, the only way I seem to be able to write.

      Hope you had a nice nap. Now it’s time to read a few more posts…. 🙂

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  11. Well, I’m blessed with a traditional 2+12 years of “convent education” in British English and some 20+ years of content writing experience in American English. So, I got most of what you said.

    Somehow, I don’t find the American habit of transforming nouns into verbs annoying. Possibly, because my veggies and roti depend on it. Looking forward to read more of your posts.

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    1. Thanks for coming over. The convent education really is a bit of a curse in this day and age. Please do come and read more often.

      Avoid the poetry…. it’s either terribly obscure or horribly silly.

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