Last Word

Anniversary Anguish

I was going to call this the “Annual Anniversary Anguish” but then realized I would be redundant. No, I mean, not me, I mean, I was made redundant once in 2009 and haven’t looked back, but I mean the Annual and Anniversary together would be abundantly redundant.

Right, all that sorted out. You’re not quite there yet? Well, I’m not waiting about for you.

Here is my conundrum, cogitate on that if you please. Ah… I have a problem, I need your help. There, is that better? Sheesh!

Problem Definition:

The Great Annual Day of Celebration is nigh. The day I became officially a husband. <Digression Alert!> I wonder if the word husband has anything to do with hussies and bands around them? Like being tied up, you know, like rubber bands…, not bands like Green Day and U2. The guy acting as a tourniquet and closing up the Honky Tonks so that she can settle down. For as long as there ‘s a Honky Tonk she’ll never settle down. Watch this video and quit saying

So the Wedding Anniversary is coming up and I have no idea what to do. I shall be in the Prairies and she’ll be in general vicinity of the 5 Great Lakes. (Quick can you name them all?)

Possible solutions:

1. Remote gifting of flowers? Cheese? Cold Smoked meat? Saskatoon has the one store that is world famous in Saskatoon for artisan cheese and cold smoked meat.

2. Write a soppy poem. Not really my scene. Mah pomes are deep, dark and deliciously un-understandable and definitely unreadable.

3. Write a story. Hmmm – I got away with that last year. Should I repeat myself? If YES then what should the story be about? We already did the Jab We Met <When We Met – this is an example of Hinglish. It was a Bollywood movie >. So one supposes we could move on to the 6 years of holding hands and running around trees before marriage. The stolen kisses hidden by the convenient blooming flower. The many dances in the rain. The multiple costume changes. No?

4. “Other” options. Possibly including Skype?

5. <Your ideas here> Come on!! Get with it! Time is a running out till Dec 4.

12 thoughts on “Anniversary Anguish”

  1. Send jewelery or something she wanted to buy since long but unable to due to some reason. Don’t send flowers or a story. Don’t be cheapskate. 😛 She’s your wife, putting up with you. You need to give her annual bonus 😀 😛


    1. Hmm…. I’ll have to look the performance review first before deciding on bonus.

      Hey – what aboot me putting up with her?

      Ok – I won’t be a cheapskate then. I shall send her *two* dozen roses instead of the *one* dozen. See I’m doubling up!


  2. I’m glad to see you giving enough thought to ‘Anniversary’ – no matter how many years have gone by, it is something to be celebrated & remembered. I would suggest ‘surprise visit’ from the prairies, if possible; DO NOT, no matter what you do, give her a ‘useful’ gift. I once got a Pillow and have not forgiven him as yet.


    1. A pillow? Ok, then!!

      Yes, I’m inclined to think I’ve earned enough brownie points just by putting some thought into it. Now I can probably get a bar of KitKat and be done.



  3. Flowers: mixed bouquet, but make sure there are roses and other autumn flowers, since you got married in this season and I bet she had those type of flowers in her bouquet. Groupon is running excellent specials with 1800 flowers (no I don’t work for them) with additional savings for autumnal bouquets. Order, ignore the annoyance of all the extra fees, send, wait for the excited call from your wife, done.



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