First – the disclaimer. No cats have been harmed in the writing of this post. God knows cats and I are sworn enemies, and there are days when I dream of a cat-free world, but I wish them no harm other than removal from an area measured by a radius of 1,000 miles with me at it’s centre (center, if American).
Anyway, this is not about cats. I would never waste my time talking about cats, except that in my world the word “cat” is pronounced with a hiss through clenched teeth. In the interest of selling this blog post, though, I plan to include a picture of a cute kitten. See top left (gauche, if French)
A sell-out, you scream or holler or yell. Pragmatic, realist, I retort. I have little or no readership….
So what is this post about? It’s about food – I have been accused on a public forum of eating too much and I have decided to hit back by posting a derant ( if management idiots can coin “degrow”, I say I can invent new words too…) about one of my favorite foods. An Indian style burger, invented in Calcutta ( Kolkata if Bengali) and made and sold on every street corner in the city, unavailable elsewhere.
Bottledworder reports that kathi (if Indian) rolls are bigger and better and available in Manhattan.
1. The inside filler: Classically this consists of meat (beef, goat meat or chicken) kebabs, later additions include potatoes, cottage cheese or paneer. Kebabs are typically run through with a kathi ( skewer, if non-Indian ) and grilled over charcoal but more normally pressure cooked, to spicy, juicy perfection.
2 The bread: White flour parathas (unleavened Indian bread, shallow fried on a griddle). Whole wheat or naans sometimes, think “new Coke”.
3. Options: Egg, deem (if Bengali), Unda (if Hindi speaker). The paratha is made first and in the final moments an egg or two (if double unda) or three (if triple unda – you get the picture…) broken over it making an omelette fused into the paratha.
4 Garnishes: Chopped green chillies (if not spicy enough), sauteed onions, sauteed green peppers (or capsicum), fresh thinly sliced onions, lime juice, potatoes & green chillies sauce (if still not spicy enough), ketchup (if “mod”).
5. Packing: Put kebabs and garnishes into a row on one side of the paratha, roll up into a roll (what else), wrap lower half (pick one end and name it “lower half”) in paper, tuck in at the bottom. Hand it over to me!
6. The Eating: Hold paper wrap in fist. Chomp off a bit size piece off the exposed top. Gasp as hot and spicy food burns your tongue. Chew contentedly, pulling more of the roll out of the paper wrapper. Discard wrapper when empty in nearest waste bin – the paper is not edible.